Rountine

Fucked it up again,
didn't I?
I always do,
don't I?

You'd text now and again,
wouldn't you?
I'd offer no time to spend,
wouldn't I?

Drifting in and out,
that's what people do to me.
Just an insecure fool,
with no means to please.

Seize the Weekend

So I turned 26 on Saturday, well and truely past the quarter century. Despite being slightly pissed off at how shit I threw in the afternoon, it was quickly forgotten and got home in time to have a good night out. Now I need to get my arse in gear for the British Open, I feel plenty better even since Saturday so lets hope this is the end of a long dark tunnel I've been in.

Just for Andy, who thinks my poems are crap, this one's for you.

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Tomato ketchup stain on the van's interior.
We don't need photos to remember.
They would only make us feel inferior.
At the site of our beleaguered demeanour.

Chat to a girl or two.
Try to dance with a few.
Exchange names then go,
to let booze continue to flow.

Deceit

Currently reading The Da Vinchi Code, I know I'm a bit late jumping on the bandwagon, it's a very well written and provocative fictional book and much better than the movie I'm sure. Despite the author's claims that the book is truely non-fictional, I believe otherwise, although I think many statements in the book may well be true.

And the whole aura of the books reflects real life society in many ways. No doubt this book has made Dan Brown a very rich and powerful individual in his chosen field because lots of people want to know what he has to say and are enthused by his ideas. The same way that religion's myths and mysteries make many people rich and powerful and at the same time, give billions of people something to believe in and in many cases something to live for.

Whether the prophets are true or not is not important, it's highly likely that they are just lies spun by the powerful to retain and stregnthen their status, but while there remains doubt, there is something to believe in.

As my friend at gapingvoid.com professes, the market for something to believe in is infinate.

Nothing much changes in this world very quickly apart from the material things, the fabric of human life is still very much beset on making people believe in things even if they are based upon lies, advertising and marketing are just modern-day phases for practices that have been in operation since before Jesus was born or invented. Funny how Jesus could have been someone's product/business model.

But answers to the world's great mysteries would only create fear and panic.

Without uncertainty and deceit, life in essence would not exsist.

What to Do

When you ask those questions; I

don't know what to say,
tell me what to say.
Don't know what to want,
tell me what to want.
Don't know what to do,
tell me what to do.

The answer is you.
It's always you.

Skies

Looks like
The skies are changing,
my mind is raging,
hoping my skies aren't falling.
Hoping my skies aren't failing,
they can't fail me now.

The Academy Is....

Crap. Yes that band are too, just like all these new indie, regional accent wearing internet bands, apart from the Newcastle based ones of course. The A19 scene is where it is at as far as new music is concerned, unfortunately for the one's that started it all off, the Futureheads and the Maximo Park, they have done what Ian Brown told them not to do and have sold their souls. I was at the opening night when the Futureheads held together the creaking and leaking Carling Academy, and last night wasn't too much better. The Newcastle Carling Acedemy is quite simply the worst music venue I have ever been in, it is a DDA court case waiting to happen, taking 2 key opperated lifts to get down to stage level it hardly seems worth finding a member of staff and then move everyone out the way because you have to do it all again to get back to toilet. Needless to say the lift weren't working anyway, my mate then informed me the lights weren't working in the toilet, a high class establishment indeed. The accoustics are terrible and it was difficult to make out even some of the Futurehead's most famous songs and their new stuff didn't sound great. So the verdict: The Futurehead's aren't the best live act but weren't helped by the venue, however 'Hounds of Love' and 'Decent Days & Nights' went down very well.

P.S. Will the bloke from Maximo Park please stop following me round at gigs and get a proper job, also Englishmen in baseball caps is wrong.

The Academy 2 is however a much better venue and I recommend you get there to see Dartz! next Friday.

----

I'm sorry.
I wish I would, I wish I could.
I wish I could.

Heros

We'll miss you Alan....

When I need the strength to carry on
and there's nothing left within,
that's when I look to you.

When I need to know the way to go
and my head is in a spin,
that's when I take your direction.

When I need the inpiration
and have no motivation,
that's when your words mean so much.

When I need a hero
and nobody is here,
that's when you are part of me.

When you are gone
and your legend lives on,
that's when new hero's are born

Scars

So I had to pull out of this year's Paralympic World Cup through injury, it's probably the first competition I've had to do so in my career so far. I wasn't really that upset about missing it as discus is my second event and it was going to be tough for me to get in the top three. Having said that I hate being even slightly injured and I'm no stranger to competing with an injury but this one just got the better of me, must be my age or something. I might have been able to grab 4th place with the injury but that wouldn't do me any justice. Also I don't see the PWC as the great competition it's made out to be, not for me anyway, it is good for promoting disabled sport in general but its mainly the more able-bodied competitors who walk and talk normally that get the media attention. As for me, I'm probably Britain's 2nd most successful athlete but I shake quite a bit and talk a bit funny so the TV kind of tentatively disregard me, which is something I've come to accept but it is unsettling at times.

As for know I have to get this hip sorted, it looks like I haven't done anything too serious so it'll probably take a couple of weeks before I can start hobbling about again. Can't wait to make the stairlift redundant again.

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Why do I spend time getting girls to like me.
Then spend my time putting them off me.
Oooo time for a coffee.

Happenings

So, cheerio again
so here we go, insane.
At the end of the day
if nothing is learned
the battle is lost.
Things shouldn't be measured
in terms of cost
but in terms of gains.
Make your gains,
whatever the cost.